Jan. 1st, 2012

sabulana: (pic#1315239)
I have lots of hopes for this new year, far more than I did last year. The fact that I feel hope this time is a big change from last year, where I was convinced everything would be just more of the same. I was wrong, which is a good thing. Over the last year, I've got a job and managed to keep it, I've met some wonderful people and I've had some fantastic moments. There has been stress and worry and I've been sick a couple times, so it wasn't all good but... all of it, everything that's happened has made me feel better about how this new year is going to be.

My resolution last year was simply to stop biting my nails. I kept to it for a few weeks.

This year, I have more.

Firstly, I will write a short story or chapter of a longer story per week. Even if I don't post it somewhere for anyone to read, I will write it. I will let my creative side out more. RP will not count towards this. I would also like it if, when I get back into RP, that it will not consume my life again. It's fun but for quite a while, it was all I could think of. This forced break from it has been rather refreshing. I've started doing things that I wouldn't normally have considered doing because all I could think of was 'I wonder if I've got any new tags? I need to tag back everyone. Must tag, must RP.' When I do get back into RP (because I don't want to stop altogether), I'll have to pick a game and a character carefully.

Next resolution is to get into shape! I am so unfit and I have gained a dress size over the past year. My metabolism seems to be slowing down and I need to step up the exercise and cut back on junk food.

My third resolution is the one that means most to me. I want to be more 'myself'. I want to be more confident in myself. It isn't about fitting in but being true to myself. I've been trying, on and off sort of but I've always been too shy to be truly, honestly true to myself most times. I want that to change. Even if it gets me branded as being weird or something. 

My fourth resolution is to endeavour to find the magic in the world again. There were times when I was a child when everything was full of wonder and as I've grown, I've become more cynical. More jaded. I developed a general contempt for the entire human race and I started... really disliking stuff. I'm grouchy and mean sometimes, and often to the people who deserve it least. So this year, I'm going to seek happiness instead of misery. I'm going to be cheerful and kind and the kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up. I'm going to find the beauty and the strange and the out of the ordinary things in the world instead of feeling like I'm stuck in a huge patch of mud.

I also plan on taking many pictures of everything over the next year.

I don't know if everythin makes sense but the ideas are in my head and I plan on being true to them. Let this year be the year I rediscover my inner child. 2012 is going to be my year.

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Sabulana

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