sabulana: (brb commiting suicide)
I am feeling an increasing need to just say 'FUCK EVERYTHING' and becime a total reculse for a while. No going out, no internet, nothing.

Just me, a pile of books to read and a notebook for when I feel like writing.

Oh, and a massive pile of chocolate too.

But I won't, because I have obligations to fulfil. Work to do, tags to write and other such things. I also have characters I want to app even though I don't know how I'll manage because I am failing so badly with just two at the moment. But I do have... drafts, at least, for the Sephiroth tags I owe, both in [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp and [livejournal.com profile] piecesofworlds. I'm gonna type those out now properly, post them and then... maybe write some backstory for my OC, Michael or the other story set in the same world or watch Sanctuary or play Vampire the Masquerade.
sabulana: (Default)
I learned this morning that my boyfriend's parents get back tomorrow. Wonderful.

No, really. It is. Partially. The bit where I have to clean most of the house on my own is less wonderful (I swear, I am the only one who knows how to do any housework anymore - and both my BF's brothers moved out and lived on their own for a while before moving back.) I've got towels to handwash, vacuuming the house and I need to scrub the bathroom. No doubt other things will present themselves as I work on the other stuff.

So I might be home on Thursday.

Or not.

I'll be at my BF's all next week anyway, plus the weekend so I might not bother going home, even though I want to. It'll be better next week anyway, ith his parents back. Get a sense of normality again.

Anyway~ I'm aiming to get back into RP by the end of the week. Arwen has enabled me into creating a journal for the Phantom of the Opera but I'm feeling really shaky about his voice at the moment still - so I'll be watching the movie every night this week to try to get it down. I'm already working on an app for him for [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp . >> But I need practice before I send it in.

And I still intend to app Albel.
sabulana: (brb commiting suicide)
So...

March.

I haven't yet mentioned how much I hate this time of year yet, have I? Well. I do.

Except for the part where there are daffodils in the garden. Not growing yet but they'll be there by the end of the month, weather permitting.

The first of a bunch of birthdays is coming up soon, starting on the 5th - My mother's, then there's another on the 7th, 9th, 19th, 1st April, 6th (mine!) and finally ending on the 8th April. Unless I've forgotten anyone. >_> Rinoa on the 3rd ffffff

Plus there are probably going to be other things happening - Mother's Day is soon, I think and even though my family generally doesn't do anything for that, it is expected that I will help my boyfriend get something for his mother. It's not that I don't love my female relatives, but Mother's Day has always been overlooked because we never went out to buy cards for people - I mean, why should I buy an overpriced card to let my mother/gran/whoever know I love them? And why should I wait for that one 'special' day to do it? Besides, my gran used to tell me about how the traditional Mother's  Day gift was a handful of crocuses so I would usually just go pick a bunch of flowers out of her garden for her.

...There is a blackbird eyeing my oddly through the window... o.O

Anyway. There was a reason for this ramble.

If March is so hectic and demands much of my time away from the computer, this really is not the best time for me to be considering - yet again - to app a new character to the Wake. >_> Of course, I have canon reviews to do first but... I really want to. ffff

But really, I should be concentrating on my plans for the characters already there. Sephiroth is going to be involved in the new event, hallucinating and being all crazypants for a while. Lymle is being left out of that even though I do have an idea of what could happen to her... but I don't want her to have to go through the hallucinations and the trauma. Seph can handle it though, and after talking with Eco, I think it can be a big part of his character develpoment. I'm getting really excited for it now but it's been moved back to Saturday - when I will be unable to get online, I think. I'm going to draft posts for the days I can't get online and save them so I can just copy/paste whatever I need to if I do get 5 minutes online or something. ^^;

Lymle... probably only going to get thrown at random people some more until the event, at which point she will be hiding from all the crazies. >_> At some point, I'm sending her for another canon update once I decide where to update her to - which might not be until the end of the game but we'll see... maybe to just before the final battle, then bring her back for a bit to check up on her friends in Nautilus and send her back to the final boss or something. >.> Plenty of time to decide though, and work to do in the meantime... >.> /gets back to work...
sabulana: (don't cry for me)
My mother burned the sauce for the lasagne earlier and it's still all I can smell. It's making me feel ill.

On the plus side though, the zombie apocalypse in [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp  seems to be going well. ^_^ Zack's all zombiefied and attacked Orihime so Sephiroth got to play hero. Zack's still coming after them though. Meanwhile, Jak and Lymle are escaping to Helix in a very slow log. fff I'd like to get it done faster but Zack is Eco's more active muse so the log with Jak is going to be much slower.

On the NaNoWriMo front, I have written 2067 words today, bringing by total up to 4566 words. I've never been this far ahead so early. I'll probably struggle later. I'm already making notes for edits too. There's one scene I've written that will probably be taken out completely when I'm done and editing it, simply for drama and suspense and confusion.

Although there are a few sentences in it I like so perhaps I'll just slide it in at another point for a flashback scene...

I'm also worrying about the latest scene not making sense - how hard is it to hide an injured faery in a teenage girl's bedroom? XD It wouldn't be so bad if he was a small faery but he's not. Sycamore is taller than Charlotte and is bleeding something that looks like tree sap all over the place... ^^; How are her parents not going to notice something like this? >.> I'll have to get creative, perhaps.

Also.

I would like to make it known that I am fucking sick of this computer chair. One of the wheels on it is broken so every time I try to slide away from the computer for whatever reason, I tip over instead. I already spilt my soup today because of the damn thing. >_<
sabulana: (Default)
I have little motivation for anything today. I woke up feeling fine but then an hour or so later, I started getting bad stomach pains that would last maybe fifteen minutes or so, then go away and then come back again later. They seem to have stopped for the moment though...  I've not had any for a while.

I've kept RP to a minimum pretty much though. I have a few tags I owe but no motivation to do that. Most are for less cheerful things and I need cheery to keep me happy today. Hence posting Sephiroth's kitty invasion. He's still got a couple left to give out.

Also have to do a little post with Lymle, I think. She still needs to learn Bending so she can get her doggie back but in the mean time, she gets a plushie version. I might do the post of it later.

For now, I'm researching things for my NaNoWriMo novel. I've been plotting it out and have a few ideas of things to include. I don't want it all serious all the time, despite the brewing war between the oblivious humans and faeries. Hence the. Uh. Drunk trolls and lesbian make out scene between two water nymphs...

Eco, I still can't believe you quoted that on your Lifestream...

And then... well, idk.

I want to do arts for my characters but I suck at drawing. Maybe I should try anyway. >.> But I need paper and things.... >_<

Also.

Finally managed to turn off that LJ Times thing. Whoo~


And now I'm thinking November can't come fast enough. I want to get started on this story, even though my MC hasn't even got a name yet. I have no idea what to call her. I'm not even sure how old she is. She's a teenager but ...14/15/16/17/18/what? >.>;;
sabulana: (Default)
Four more days until I can buy BBS. That'll cost me £25. Might get another book too... plus money for travel... fffff I need to work out how much I'm going to spend so I can get some more icon space for Lymle, Albel and possible Aziraphale as well, if I can find more icons of him. ^^; 15 icons just isn't enough. >_> If I don't get icon space for Azira, I'll get some on my personal journal. After that, what I don't spend is going to go into a savings account~ Sabby's gonna try to save up now.

And I also have to remember to go into the bank tomorrow to request a new card. Mine's about to expire. >_< I've been meaning to do it for weeks... And I'll have to get all the money things sorted out by Friday next week because I doubt the card will arrive by then. >.>;;

I woke up really early this morning, even though I'd had a...relatively early night. I had a few odd dreams though and woke up feeling a bit unsettled. I don't remember clearly what they were about though. I came downstairs early, played some .Hack and FFX but then I fell asleep again and the dreams returned. Still don't even know what I was dreaming about... Maybe it was just my anxiety over Lymle's acceptance getting to me? I was a little worried she was going to get buried under all the popular characters in the game but when I woke up, she had a few more replies. >.> What? I get nervous for cute little Lymle. >.> And already I would love castmates for her...

Already planning her canon updates but. ffff I realised a couple days ago, just before getting the acceptance notice, that I kinda. Mixed up what her abilities are likely to be at the point in time I took her from. >.> I was estimating her to be about level 20 but I forgot to check out the abilities she could have gained by then and so she's actually at a quite unrealistic level 28. >.> But I guess it doesn't really matter because she can't use any of her abilities yet anyway. When she realises she can't summon Cerberus for a while, she's going to be really upset though. ;-;

Also. Sephiroth thinks Goten is a mini-Zack. fffff

And... I need more to do with Azira, I think. I did tag a post with him last night...but only after hours of agonising over it and drinking half a glass of wine. >.>;;;
sabulana: (Barbeque)
I downloaded some new stuff for The Sims 2 a couple days ago and ever since, the game hasn't worked right. Every time I try to go into a Lot, occupied or not, the game freezes. I've found an FAQ which might help but I don't have time to run through every step of it now. I'm doing some of it though, backing up my user files and things. Kinda taking a while though... I also found a list of likely files that could have caused this problem and I've deleted them. I'm not sorry to do so if it means I can't play my game. I never got to test them out anyway so what do I care? I've deleted a bunch of other stuff I decided I didn't want any more. That takes me downloaded custom content folder from... um... almost 3GB to about 2.5GB. Maybe a little less, I have to check.

Also messing around with all my music too. I've got 32.21GB of music now - 5408 songs. I need to clean these out soon, I think. I rate them as I listen to them, then delete the stuff I don't like and the duplicates later. Syncing my iPod kinda takes a while though. I'm a little surprised I haven't got a phone call asking where I am yet. I'm supposed to be going out, after all.

I've got an appointment to get my hair cut on Tuesday morning and then on Wednesday, I'm off to spend an hour in the Jobcentre. I can't find my CV anywhere - well, I can't find the memory stick with it on anywhere. It kind of sucks. That was the newest version. >_<

I have a bunch of tags to make in The Wake after Aziraphale got... well. Not chatty. More...sort of horrified at everything ever in The Wake. XD But I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to get down to tagging when I'll be heading out soon. ffff I was up late enough tagging back as it is. Why is The Wake most active when I should be sleeping?! It was 3am before I got to bed last night. ;-; I'll probably get the chance to tag over the weekend a bit though.
sabulana: (DO NOT WANT)
Hmph Boyfriend has gone out and somehow roped me into tidying his room while he's gone. WTF? I guess this means I can't tag today. Not that I havne't done so a couple times. ffff But I just can't seem to manage much today. The muses are unco-operative. Rebelling, perhaps. Every time I try, I'm interuppted and now I have time to myself, I can't because my boyfriend will know and get pissed and not keep his end of the bargain when he gets back. See, I tidy his room a bit and he'll finish off when he gets back AND let me play Star Ocean for a while. I should really be playing Tools of Destruction but I doubt I'll get to go on the PS3 when he gets back anyway despite his promises to clean his room. >.> Hence Star Ocean.

Now then...

I'm considering apping another character to [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp  but I don't know which one. My choices so far...

Lymle (Star Ocean 4) - technically 15 years old but stuck at the age of 6, kinda...odd. Draws on everything. She'd probably be a bit of a challenge to play but I want to try anyway.

Albel Nox (Star Ocean 3) - grouchy swordsman but I need to do a canon review for him. >.>

Tasslehoff Burrfoot (DragonLance, and I know I said I would play him after Daisychain but I kinda want to again.) - talks in paragraphs, has no sense of fear, steals everything that isn't nailed down but not consciously.

And ...there's also the fledgling Fletch muse from Lesbian Vampire Killers.... >.> But I'm not sure I could maintain him...

Oooor there's my list of OCs that currently demand attention but I'd have to draw pics for their icons. I'd never find a PB I'd be happy with so... >.> Not to mention a lot of them aren't human or anything like it... >.> But I'm too shy to list them here. ^^;

Anyway. I think I'd better get on with the tidying and things. I've procrastinated enough, I think.
sabulana: (Hugplz)
FML. Just... FML. /collapses in a heap.

I've not been feeling too good these last couple weeks. I don't want to go into too much detail because it'll just make me worry about myself again and I've no wish to make myself out to be a hypochondriac or something. I've got a doctor's appointment though but it's not until the 23rd. If it keeps up though, I can phone up beforehand and request an earlier appointment - but only if I phone before 8:30.

Jobcentre appointment tomorrow. Can't tell you how much I'm not looking forward to it. Going to request switching to another branch though. I hate going through to the Shields branch for reasons I can't put into words. I just. Don't like it.

And the last advisor I had there was a bitch.

Supposed to be RPing too. Sephiroth needs to make his return to life in [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp  but I just... have no motivation for him right now. Instead, I'm throwing a flailing Aziraphale at just about everyone. XD I need the lightheartedness of his worrying about everyone more than I need Sephiroth's worry and regret over his actions these last couple weeks.

Oh, I'll get it all done, of course. He's more than due to return now. It's been a week, after all. But Azira is at his most active since he was accepted. It's kinda fun. ^^;
sabulana: (Hugplz)
fffff

I am so nervous now. D:

This plot with Sephiroth is coming to a close. The final battle log has been posted up. Sephiroth is waiting for his enemies to come and take him and Zack on.

I really hope I can make this as epic as it deserves.

Action-tagging too. The first part is... less action-tagging because I wanted to set the scene properly but everything that comes after should be action tagging. I did make a note about it. fffff Did I make it noticeable enough?

Augh.

So much for my relaxed attitude. I'm now worrying so so much about it. ;-; I've been saying for days 'whatever happens, just relax and go with it' but this ...is it. Really. The end of this plot. It's a big thing for me. The first time I've really plotted and planned and stuff. And people want to be involved. It's... and awesome feeling. I just feel I fail too much to make it good.

ffff Oh hell.

I'm going to go find something not stressful to do. Take a few hours off from checking The Wake. Play a game or something.

Or write. I typed out 4 pages of a chapter for the fic I wrote last November. I really should finish that.

Yeah. I'll do that.
sabulana: (Default)
Man, plotting is complicated. Remind me why I do it?

Oh yeah.

Sometimes things need to be planned. Sephiroth can't just spontaneously take over Zack's mind and attack Nautilus. That would create all kinds of OOC backlash I don't even want to think about.

;-;

Still, I shall deal with it. There are more people wanting to get involved now. Good thing I have lists or I'd never keep track of them. At least Sephiroth isn't utterly alone against all these people who are going to want to smack his ass back down. >.> He's got Zack - albiet brainwashed - and Blackarachnia too.

Yeah, that's another goddamn spider in my life now. XD

But she'll prove useful until Seph regains his sanity.

*sigh*

In othe, non-RP news, it looks like I'll have to sign on again. No new jobs from the agency, which I'm vaguely grateful for at the moment. I don't think I could handle a job and this plot at the same time - hence I want to just rush through it all before I get another job but I can't do that because there must be build-up.

Anyway. I'm going to call the jobcentre in the morning. Better do it before I run out of money.

Been inspired to work on a couple old stories lately too, or at least to work with old characters. Perhaps over the weeked? I'll have to put the files on to my memorystick so I can work on them on the laptop. Might as well try to get something productive done over the weekend rather than read manga. I've been buying so much of it lately. At least I managed to finish one of my series, even if the end did throw me into a funk for the rest of the day. Is a happy ending too much to ask for? D: Especially one where the cute younger male and the hot older guy end up together and happily in love for the rest of their days rather than said older guy turning out to be a sociopathic magic-wielding assassin who vowed years before to kill the cute younger man? *facepalms, sobs*
sabulana: (don't cry for me)
Ever since I came off hiatus at The Wake, I've been trying to do something about my activity levels. I'm not hugely confident in my abilities still but...well, the only complaint I've had so far is about said activity levels. I posted an open log last Thursday but there have been no replies yet. I don't think there will be either. *shrugs* It's discouraging but...

Well, there's the current event going on now. That's got everyone distracted. Who wants to go back through days of posts when there are shiny new things where lots of people are high? >.> Even Sephiroth is high. He's high of the slightly-vacant, can't-keep-up-with-his-brain kind of thing. He comes out with some really random things. Zack's room trying to eat him, for one. There is no evidence, Seph. Where did you get that idea from? XD I've made a couple tags in other people's entries too. I figure where's the harm? At least I'm trying.

Got a note about the next fanfic meetup though~ It's this Sunday. I'm looking forward to it. It promises to be quite epic~ We should get more newbies turning up now. One of them - RayRay - has been trying to show up ever since it first started but other obligations have always kept her away. This time though, she should make it. ^_^

And the week after that should be the anime/furmeet with Nightwind and his boytoy. >.> I definitely don't want to miss that this time. D: Although I should check the date, just to be sure...

...

Oh god.

The advert I just saw on TV?

All I saw on the screen before it went off were the words: "FROM GIANT TENTACLES TO..."

...What.

What the Hell.

What is my mother watching?!
sabulana: (Broken)
ffffff

I reserved Aziraphale at the Wake. Probably a stupid move but... I'm gonna go for it. I have a list of characters to narrow down before I app other characters at Ragnarok and Pieces. Canon reviews to do too.
sabulana: (himeno not amused)

...Accepting that mojito was a bad idea...

I feel listless and unmotivated and every time I close my eyes I see the monstrosity that is a Tzimice's ideal mode of transport. -_- AND WHY IS AMY LEE SCREECHING AT ME WHY DO I HAVE THIS GODAWFUL TRACKO N MY COMPUTER WHY HAVEN'T I DELETED IT YET OH GOD WHY.

*crawls into a corner and sobs and completely fails at chat*

I can't pick any new icons for Seph or keywords or anything and I just fail at all things creative today. Augh.


sabulana: (DO NOT WANT)
Or at least to not eat bananas before bed again. I had such a godsdamn freaky dream! There was a pregnant guy who was trying really really hard to hide his condition from his friends - his boyfriend knew, of course, and kept babying him but he didn't much like that except when he was being left to sleep. Then someone gave them a car made out of flesh and bone. o.O Which was really fucking freaky. I shall be seeing that car in my nightmares forever now. It ran on blood instead of petrol! And then their friends started getting worried so Mr Pregnant was left in bed while his boyfriend dragged them all off demon-hunting. None of these people had names, which was odd because normally when I dream up new characters, they get names... I guess this means they're not sticking around in my head, thank the gods! Why do I say stuff like that when I'm agnostic? o.O

In other news, I have been accepted into The Wake~ And shall get around to posting there soon~

My mother is in a productive mood and I'm listening to the 80's music to prove it. Whenever we have to do something in this household, we put music on to motivate us. We blast loud music (80's pop for my mother and rock/metal for me and my brother) when we have to tidy up to take our minds off the boring task. If my mother is cooking, she'll either play music or have the TV on if it doesn't require her full attention. I'll play music when I'm writing too. I've tried making playlists for different scenes, like music for battle scenes or fluffy romantic scenes. I need to build up me "creepy evil insanity' playlist though. XD

Well...enough procrastinating for now. I'd better get to work. ^_^
sabulana: (sabulana dansen)
Finally given in to temptation and reserved Sephiroth at [livejournal.com profile] thewake_rp

5000 words to go for NaNoWriMo and now I have an app to work on. What a good thing it is that I have no life. -_-;

XD

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Sabulana

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