sabulana: (Default)
Augh, this is a disaster.

I'm going out tonight and I need to shower before I can get ready but my boyfriend's dad has decided that now is the best time to fix the bathroom window frame.

I have less than two hours to get ready. I'm never going to manage this. At the very least, I need to wash my shoulder. The place where the medical tape was is red and sore and my hair keeps sticking in what remains of the cream I was putting on my tattoo. At least I shoudn't have to bother with covering it over tonight. It's been about a week since I had it done so it should be healed by now. My boyfriend mentioned the other day that it looked healed but I kept the cream and bindings on just in case.

Anyway, I've done everything else I need to in order to get ready for tonight but I can't go any further until I shower. Which is probably not going ot happen now so... I have no idea what to do.
sabulana: (Default)
We had an American visitor in our office today, along with the boss from the head office down in York. They asked a lot of questions but were really just curious as to how we do everything that we do. I mostly just kept out of the way and did my work. I got plenty done, like most of the filing and pays but I still have some to send, I think. I can't remember if I sent the last page or not. But anyway, it frees up most of tomorrow for auditing - the most hated part of my job but if I can get lots done (and I plan to be there early in the morning to get the most possible done)  then maybe our boss won't mind if I have to leave early.

I'm going out tomorrow night, doing the social thing and being without the internet (no tumblr omg how will i survive). We have to be at the restaurant for 6:30 I think so I have to leave early to get ready.

Which reminds me that fuck I haven't ironed my dress. But I'll do it quickly tomorrow, I guess. I've actually spent most of the afternoon watching videos on YouTube. It's made me want to give vlogging another go but I think it will have to wait until Saturday when my boyfriend is at work before I have the time to myself to do it. I never intended to stop but... eh, I ran into technical difficulties. But now I have access to a new laptop and I haven't tested out it's capabilities regarding making videos yet.

Also, I've been staring at tumblr messages for, like, the last two days in the hopes that I will get the courage to respond and I haven't yet so I feel terrible about that. I'm going to do that now, I think, before my boyfriend gets home and then I can bask in the false sense of accomplishment until he starts moaning that he's hungry.
sabulana: (Default)
They've started me on auditing at work. My aunt got me a cordless phone so I can sit separately to everyone else while I make the calls, which is a big help. When people wander on through, I can get one with filing too. I'm too self-conscious to make the calls I need to while people are there. She's also saying I can make half the calls necessary and then forge the rest, just so it looks like I'm getting more done than the other auditor. >_> I've been told he'll be on his way out soon, I think. I may have arrived late but I sat at my desk and worked for four hours straight. He vanished one time and then spent a while just wandering around, talking to people.

In other news, I got my tattoo! It's not finished yet though. It will take another two hour session to finish it. I pretty much can't wait but I'll have to give it a couple weeks so I can get the money and let what's bee done so far heal properly. But thinking about it is making my back itch. I need my boyfriend to come home and help me clean and dress it.

We are all moved in to our new office though, and after some problem with the broadband, we're online and can catch up with pays again. This is good because a lot of people were complaining about it, apparently. JFC, they were two days late. Calm down, people! Most of those who were complaining tend to people the people who need the money east, by the way. One of our drivers has repeatedly said he doesn't really need the money but he wants to work but if his pay is even a day late, he's straight in to complain. And normally, he's received the money but hasn't realised it. :|

Speaking of, this guy was pretty cheeky to me earlier too. I was having a break for lunch when he arrived. Since I was the first person he saw, he charged over to me and said 'Right, stop eating and sort this out for me.' No kidding. The exact words he said. And all he wanted was a pile of contracts I didn't know had been printed so I just took the list of what he needed. Luckily, my aunt appeared shortly after and he went after her instead.

Oh, and for the record, I finished my sandwich while I was helping him. Like hell was I going to stop eating on my goddamn lunch break. >|
sabulana: (Default)
Well, today was even worse than I imagined.

We moved offices while I wasn't there so now I don't know where anything is. Though I can see some of the files I need but I can't get to them. I spent the day typing names and addresses into the computer (after having to set it up, then take it apart, move it and set it up again because I didn't do it in the right place, since I didn't see the wall socket where I should have done it in the first place.) and losing my will to live.

Meanwhile, the guy I was hoping would take my place eventually when I find a new job has done absolutely nothing. He hung around a bit but apparently managed to not do anything and kept disappearing. So not impressed and now I have the feeling that I cannot leave this job. I don't know who they would get to replace me since they'd get more stressed without me.

But I am looking for a new job anyway. I just need to rescue my CV.
sabulana: (Default)
I'm supposed to be getting ready for work now but I'm still so fucking pissed about last night.

The only good thing about my day is the fact that I'm going to be reading An Abundance of Katherines on the way to work.

I have a mountain of paperwork waiting for me and a desire to spread my cold to everyone I work with. I hope they suffer.

Please note that I'm not usually like this but holy fuck am I pissed right now.
sabulana: (gaia)
I'm in the middle of taking two weeks off work. I have permission for these two weeks. I have not been at work for just over a week now.

I'm going in to work tomorrow because I am apparently the only one capable of filing.

Because sorting the route packs into numerical order and putting them in the appropriate area file is too fucking hard for anyone else to do. :|

But this is not why I'm pissed. Oh, no.

My aunt phoned my mother who then phoned me in order to complain about me writing my novel on my phone at work. There are several things wrong with this scenario.

Number 1: While my phone is currently my only way of working on my novel, it is highly impractical and I gave up trying weeks ago.
Number 2: While I was trying this, why did my aunt not ask me about it then? Why wait until now?
Number 3: Why did she go to my mother about it when I haven't seen my mother in more than two weeks? My aunt has had more than enough time to come to me personally about it.

But then, I suppose it is better that she goes to my mother. I'd get too pissed off at her if she did it in person and I'd probably explode at her about how much I fucking hate my job and my novel is a million times more important to me than anything that goes on in the office. I'm grateful for her finding me a job but honestly, I cannot stand it there anymore. The best part of my job is listening to the gossip. Also I get paid. But apart from that? My shyness has only worsened, I've started feeling increasingly anxious every time the phone rings, especially when I have to answer it and I have to put up with the most terrifying car rides ever.

I really need to ask if I can get a reference from Susan so I can search for another job. I seriously need out of that place.
sabulana: (Default)
They're replacing the window in my boyfriend's bedroom today. I've been booted from the room as a result and have very little that I'm comfortable doing where other people might wander past. I have no desire to let anyone know just how much of a wierd fangirl I am today. Or letting anyone see the truly bizarre stuff that pops up on my tumblr dashboard.

I might go out, actually. I'm feeling oddly crowded, sitting here alone in the otherwise empty living room. Seriously. I'm alone. Apart from the fish tank but I don't think fish count. Anyway, a walk might make me feel better. I have things to do outside anyway so maybe when I've finished my tea, I'll just go.

...except I cannot get to my bag. The one with my keys and purse in it. :| So going outside is out of the question. Well, damn.
sabulana: (pic#1315254)
  1. I read three books - Looking For Alaska, Paper Towns and Will Grayson Will Grayson. The first two are by John Green, the last by John Green and David Levithan.
  2. Started reading a fourth book - The Complete Sherlock Holmes.
  3. Went to see The Dark Knight Rises at the cinema.
  4. Plenty of drama among co-workers that I will not detail here (though I do make mental notes in case I ever need it or story purposes. Some of the stuff I hear about would make for a very dramatic novel, if I wished to write about real people.)
  5. I decided on a tattoo design. At last. I've been considering it for years but I finally kow what I want now. Ive even been in to the tattoo parlour to see about getting it done. I'll need some oney to make an appointment and more to pay for it when it's done but I knw what I want. <3 I will post a picture when I finally get it done. It'll be my first. I'm bth nervous and excited. Also slightly worried about what my mother will say but once it's done, it's done. I know a lot of people I know arent going to approve but this is something I'm doing for me and other people's opinions do not come into it.
sabulana: (pic#1100824)

My mom left a magazine open on my bed with an interview with E. L. James, the author of 50 Shades of Grey.

She'd circled the bit where the woman talked about getting her fanfiction published.

I tihnk my mother is trying to give me a hint and I'm fucking terrified. :| She used to read my fanfiction when I left it lying around. It led to the most awkward conversation I have ever had:

Mom: Why do all the boys in your stories end up gay?

Me: Uh, well.... it's........cute? *runs the fuck away*

But I have been working on other stories that I would like to get published. Ones that are not related to my fanfiction in any way. I've done some research on how to get published when I've finished the novel, plus I've looked up magazines that might accept the collection of short stories I've also been working on.

Also  I'm setting up a separate tumblr from my main one for my personal things and writings. My main one remains for the purposes of fandom and reblogging. It's not quite finished et but I'll post a link when I get started on posting on it. But I'll probably cross-post everything here anyway.

sabulana: (pic#1315239)
Okay. So. Stuff. I'm not spamming my tumblr with this because I'm trying to stay off that for a little while. I can only take so much Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston and they are distracting when I'm trying to write. Or do anything productive.

Anyway, my boyfriend found my notes for when I was planning my vlog. I did record a second video that I haven't edited and posted yet because I'm too quiet and it bugs me. I need to 'find my voice' or something. I watched a couple vlogging tips videos. Also I want to invest in a decent mic and camera. I was thinking about using my digital camera but I would need to find some place to stand it and be sure it's actually capturing my face and not, say, a random corner of the room. :/

But he didn't exactly laugh about it. Yeah, he struggled to read my writing and laughed at that but he didn't dismiss the idea completely. We changed the subject pretty quickly, actually.

I do want to record andother, better video though. But another time when I can be sure I can make myself heard.

In the mean time, I am actually going to edit a fic while sitting next to my boyfriend.

This is a new thing. Normally I can only write when I'm supposed to be doing something else (like, say, the work I get paid to do) or when I'm alone and doing NaNoWriMo. But we're having a nice, cozy coupley day now that he's back from work. So I'm going to sit here next to him and work on a story.

And hope he wants something to eat soon. That doesn't include either bread or milk because we have neither of those things in the kitchen.


Jun. 14th, 2012 10:18 pm
sabulana: (Grump)
It's been a while since I posted anything here. :/ And now I return in order to vent some stuff.


Venting beyond the cut )
sabulana: (DO NOT WANT)
My boyfriend wants to go see The Hunger Games in the cinema tonight. He wants to see the last showing, which starts in about an hour.

I keep seeing people raving about this film and the books but... I can't bring myself to care. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I probably will, actually but... I'm just... not excited for it.

Also I would have preferred seeing it a couple hours ago since I want to go to bed now.

Also my boyfriend bought be the HD Jak and Daxter collection. I think this means he wants me to stay at his next week but I really don't want to. :| I want to go home and get some goddamn clean clothes. I've been swapping between the same pairs of jeans and t-shirts for the last two fucking weeks. I want to go home! And it's my birthday next week! I want to see my family again and avoid his family doing anything to embarass the crap out of me. :|

Every fucking year.

>> It's nice that it makes me part of their family but. Fuck. I get so embarassed.
sabulana: (Default)
My boyfriend's next door neighbours have a truly terrible taste in music. I can hear it through the walls. It is all I can hear.

Last night I dreamed I adopted a robot kitten. It was he fluffiest thing ever and it was grey. I thought it was real at first and it was a stray so I took it home but then I found out it had a hard drive inside it. I took it out and found out that it belonged to a family down the road but they didn't take proper care of it. I was trying to decide whether to take it back and lecture them on proper kitten care or keep it for myself when I woke up.

Also I wrote a fic.

I'll link to it/post it or whatever later. I'm feeling lazy right now.
sabulana: (pic#1315239)
I've been completely unable to keep up with exercise lately. Too many disruptions to my routine. If I'm not suffering from agonising chest pains, then my mother is having a lie in or my boyfriend's parents are leaving with no idea of when they're coming back. It sucks. But I think I have lost some weight. My jeans feel looser. I probably haven't lost much and I'm certainly not down to a size 10 yet.

I have been cutting back on snacks though. Not completely - my boyfriend keeps buying me chocolate because he thinks he's being nice and then I have to eat it or he'll get upset (but he's the one that keeps pointing out how fat I'm getting so... it's his fault.)

I'm really tired today. I only got about 4 hours sleep so I need to sleep earlier tonight. After my boyfriend goes to work, I'm going to make myself a cuppa and laze about in bed, watch TV for a bit and pass out. I was up for hours last night watching SHINee videos on YouTube. I think I'm addicted. >> They're so pretty...

Tonight though... I'm thinking Merlin S2, Riget or... Kuroshitsuji again. Depends on if I'm in the mood for subtitles or not.

What I really want to watch is Sherlock S2 but I don't have that yet. (;-; Soon, though. Soon... >_> ) and Buffy/Angel but I can't watch that until I go home, which might not be for another two weeks.
sabulana: (pic#1100824)

I've been making plans to lose weight, get into shape and generally feel better about myself this week. I've done some stuff already this week but the main part of it will be implemented on Monday. The weekend will be spent in secret preparation.

I'm not telling my boyfriend about this. XD I kinda want to see if he'll notice a change in me first but also I want to know I can do it - start exercising and stuff and keep at it long enough for there to be an improvement in my figure before I let him know.

Also, I have to get birthday presents for three people this weekend. I totally forgot but my mother's birthday is on Monday, my boyfriend's mother's birthday is on Wednesday and my gran's birthday is on Friday.

And now I remember why I hate March.

sabulana: (Default)
Feels like I'm fighting tooth and nail to holdon to my creativity lately. I want to write but I either have no time, no opportunity or no ideas. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by fragments of settings, characters and plots but I can't organise them into anything coherent.

And it seems that whenever I try to write, I am interuppted. /hides internet window at work
sabulana: (cute sephy)
A home-cooked meal, red wine, chocolate and Farscape.

My boyfriend knows how to treat me on Valentine's Day.
sabulana: (pic#1315254)
I used to like my job. Sorta. I mean, it was a bit dull but I liked going in. Now I'm dreading Monday morning.

It started about two weeks ago. Someone at HQ in York noticed that the company was losing money. It was traced back to our office and this contract we have with a certain charity. We buy the bags from the charity to deliver and then claim the money back based on our returns and routes delivered. Or so I understand it.

But the bosses have been taking out the routes with poor results from the reports so it looks as though they haven't been completed - and yet we've paid them because they have been delivered. Maybe we only got one or two bags, maybe we didn't get any - but if someone phones up and asks why they haven't been paid for a route they've delivered, either Alison or Susan will tell me to pay them.

I've only been taking over doing the pays for a few months, not the whole time we've been delivering these bags. But since last May, the company has lost about £30k (or so I gather from listening in on phone conversations). All through routes that have been paid but not put on the reports. Only routes with good results get put on the reports so taking out the poor routes makes the company look better, which is all the bosses were concerned about.

Until they realised the company had been losing money.

Cue mad panic to find out how and why and where the money had gone. :| Bosses were in danger of losing their jobs, apparently.

So in the attempt to reclaim some money, they fired me.

For doing my goddamn job.

Which is such bullshit, it makes me speechless with rage. What the actual fuck?!

But my aunt campaigned on my behalf and got me my job back - working less hours and only three days a week but it's better than signing on at the job centre again. :| I just... wish I didn't have to go back now. It's going to be all awkward and stuff. Plus I'm still pretty angry at how this has all turned out.

And the worst thing is, I knowif Susan apologises, then I'll accept it and move on. If she bitches at me for not doing anything in work, then I'm going to tell her that it's only because I don't have enough to do - the job she was supposedly giving me to do was taken back by her without even telling me. Plus, there's only so much time I can spend filing before it's all done. :| So of course I'm going to sit and write fic on my phone. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO UNTIL YOU HAND ME THE PAPERWORK I NEED. And I can't just take it from her because she needs it first. She needs to input it into the computer (supposedly my job except she won't let me do it) although I suppose that comes after she goes dress shopping online.

No, seriously. She looked up a dress online, supposedly for some event, and sent one of our drivers to pick it up from the shop. :|

But I can't sit and write out a couple hundred words of fic in my downtime. Peacefully. Not disrupting anyone.

I just. Augh.


Shutting up now. Not looking forward to work. Taking my time to get there in the morning, I think.
sabulana: (DO NOT WANT)
I was going to write a brief update on how things are going for me at the moment, but the gunfire from my boyfriend's computer game is making me irritable. He also keeps telling me to smile because if I don't smile constantly, then I must be a miserable bitch. :/ Um. No. I don't smile constantly because I don't feel the need to. It doesn't mean I'm not happy inside. Geez. Seven years and he still hasn't realise this? :|
sabulana: (Broken)
Oh fuck you guys.

I need to stop watching things that send me into hysterics. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or both or scream.

I have a desperate desire to hug John and slap Sherlock.


sabulana: (Default)

August 2012

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