sabulana

So I'm nearly 24000 words into NaNoWriMo.

And I have just realised that the turn of events is making my MC act OOC.

The general plot is being followed though but I've thought of a way to change it so that Charlotte is no longer acting OOC and the plot keeps going in the direction I want it to.

So... do I go back and write the plot as I now want it to happen or do I just keep going with the way things are, even though I'm seriously not happ with it and will and will want to throw everything away in a couple days? And if I do go back to change the storyline, do I delete what I've written so far or keep it?

>_<

I HAVE CAUGHT UP ON MY WORDCOUNT!

I AM ALSO UP TO DATE ON TAKES AT

thewake_rp

I AM SO GODDAMN HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

...So I'll stop shouting at you all now and be off to bed. ^_^

Not impressed with my computer today... When I was typing up my NaNo fic at my boyfriend's I was using a different word processor, which gave me a slightly higher word count than the program I use at home. The difference was only 28 words - but it was still a difference! I would like to know where the differences were - what was counted as two words instead of one and the like but...

Well, my word processor at home is most accurate. I just copy/pasted it into the NaNoWriMo word counter and came up with the same number.

But I still have quite a bit of writing left to do today so I think I shall have to leave tags until another time.

And also.

It still feels quite strange to me to still be getting reviews from fanfictions I have not worked on in years. Especially the one-shot fics. And normally I like it. I even like getting advice about my fics - ways to improve and that kind of thing.

But telling me that I need to edit a one-shot fluffy romance to include the characters jumping straight to sex five minutes after one character realises her attraction to another?

No. Just... no.

If I had been attempting to write PWP, then maybe. But this fic I am referring to? Was nothing like that. In fact, it was short and crappy and...too short. Not enough character development and stuff. But I guess I liked it enough at the time to post it. I also do not appreciate being told how such a sex scene should proceed. If this guy - and I will assume it is a guy, since this was a yuri fic - wants it so bad, he could write it himself (although I would prefer not, given that he seems to have no grasp of punctuation. Perhaps it's better if he just keeps it in his head.

This review, by the way, was something I got last week. Today I get another review, I'm assuming from the same person, telling me that my 'fans are waitin' ...Oddly enough, I am not motivated to work on the fic just to keep this one person happy.

Anyway. I have NaNo fic to work on at the moment.

My mother burned the sauce for the lasagne earlier and it's still all I can smell. It's making me feel ill.

On the plus side though, the zombie apocalypse in

thewake_rp seems to be going well. ^_^ Zack's all zombiefied and attacked Orihime so Sephiroth got to play hero. Zack's still coming after them though. Meanwhile, Jak and Lymle are escaping to Helix in a very slow log. fff I'd like to get it done faster but Zack is Eco's more active muse so the log with Jak is going to be much slower.

On the NaNoWriMo front, I have written 2067 words today, bringing by total up to 4566 words. I've never been this far ahead so early. I'll probably struggle later. I'm already making notes for edits too. There's one scene I've written that will probably be taken out completely when I'm done and editing it, simply for drama and suspense and confusion.

Although there are a few sentences in it I like so perhaps I'll just slide it in at another point for a flashback scene...

I'm also worrying about the latest scene not making sense - how hard is it to hide an injured faery in a teenage girl's bedroom? XD It wouldn't be so bad if he was a small faery but he's not. Sycamore is taller than Charlotte and is bleeding something that looks like tree sap all over the place... ^^; How are her parents not going to notice something like this? >.> I'll have to get creative, perhaps.

Also.

I would like to make it known that I am fucking sick of this computer chair. One of the wheels on it is broken so every time I try to slide away from the computer for whatever reason, I tip over instead. I already spilt my soup today because of the damn thing. >_<

First day of NaNoWriMo.

Already past 2000 words.

Whoo!

And I'm keeping up with RP stuff at the same time so far.

Alright, so it's still the first day but I'm doing well! I'm allowed to be optimistic and happy!

*does a little dance of joy and goes back to writing*

fffffff TEN MORE DAYS OMG I HAVE NOT DONE ENOUGH PLANNING.

Began plotting out a few details earlier for the plotline but U couldn't decide whether to have Charlotte run into enemies or friends first... And also what kind of faerie she encounters. There will be goblins later though. And a gigantic tower. After that... well, we'll just have to wait and see.

I also have to find more names for characters. >.<

Also, there are other stories bugging me at the moment. They cry out for attention but I can't spare any. >.> My ghost story wants to be replotted, my vampire fic bounces around like a three year old on a caffiene and sugar rush (something I experienced the full horror of several hours ago) and my post-apocalypse bizarroworld story also demands attention. But I have already settled and researched for my faerie story and I will not change now. I don't think ten days is enough time to reseach boarding schools, vikings and physics. ^^;;;;

Finally come up with a working title for my NaNo fic - 'The Faerie at the Bottom of the Garden' I'll probably try to come up with something better by the end of November. Also, here is a character meme. Because I am bored.

( Memetastic )

...I need more characters. I'll need them but at the moment I don't know who they are.

Ventus commentaries and FF13 commentaries coming up later when I can be bothered. <3

( NaNoWriMo meme thingy yanked from...people. ^^; )

I have little motivation for anything today. I woke up feeling fine but then an hour or so later, I started getting bad stomach pains that would last maybe fifteen minutes or so, then go away and then come back again later. They seem to have stopped for the moment though... I've not had any for a while.

I've kept RP to a minimum pretty much though. I have a few tags I owe but no motivation to do that. Most are for less cheerful things and I need cheery to keep me happy today. Hence posting Sephiroth's kitty invasion. He's still got a couple left to give out.

Also have to do a little post with Lymle, I think. She still needs to learn Bending so she can get her doggie back but in the mean time, she gets a plushie version. I might do the post of it later.

For now, I'm researching things for my NaNoWriMo novel. I've been plotting it out and have a few ideas of things to include. I don't want it all serious all the time, despite the brewing war between the oblivious humans and faeries. Hence the. Uh. Drunk trolls and lesbian make out scene between two water nymphs...

Eco, I still can't believe you quoted that on your Lifestream...

And then... well, idk.

I want to do arts for my characters but I suck at drawing. Maybe I should try anyway. >.> But I need paper and things.... >_<

Also.

Finally managed to turn off that LJ Times thing. Whoo~

And now I'm thinking November can't come fast enough. I want to get started on this story, even though my MC hasn't even got a name yet. I have no idea what to call her. I'm not even sure how old she is. She's a teenager but ...14/15/16/17/18/what? >.>;;

50, 278 words and no, it is not finished yet.

But holy crap, do I feel good now. Staying up until 3am last night was so worth it. <3

Too bad I can't post any more chapters for the moment. I need to get home to get the files since I'm too lazy to edit what is stored on Google Documents. It takes out all my paragraph spacing.

This story has caused me so much stree and tears over this last month. There are still parts I need to write - like The Middle. I need to talk to Nightwind about that though and I haven't had the opportunity to do so yet. I might be able to manage to iron out the issues I'm haivng with it myself but not until I rewrite the parts before it... Unless I go ahead and write it out the way it should be with all the things I've learned about the characters so far and then fix it so it fits in the edits? I could do that, I guess.

I've been so low over the last weekend though. I cried about 3 times on Saturday, partially because my boyfriend was being a dick and partially because I had thousands of words left to write, no way to motivate myself, no way to check exactly how much I had left and I was just generally in a crappy mood. All I wanted was to go home, talk to friends and my mother and eat lots and lots of chocolate. Lots of decent coffee would be a plus too. I'm so sick of tea right now.

I am so tempted to go back and start editing already but I think I need a break from the novelling for a day or two. My app for

thewake_rp isn't going to write itself. It's due by the 4th but I want to get it in before then because I'll be spending the weekend celebrating five long years with my boyfriend by then.

After that, though, I'm going to continue with the novel and then I'll do the edits. I've signed up to NaNoFiMo to give me a little more motivation for finishing the novel and not letting myself be completely taken over my RP again. It's fun but I have my ambitions too and I don't want RP to become everything. I almost forgot how much fun it is to work with my own characters (which does sort of tempt me to make a journal or two for several of my own little creations but it's probably best that I don't, at least not yet) and have my own plot and everything. Besides, I'm so goddamn close to finishing this story! It's an awesome feeling! Maybe I should work on the novel and do the app at the same time so I dn't lose this good feeling I have? My novel may be absolute rubbish at the moment, but it's a first draft and it is a rushed NaNo novel but I still feel good about it all.

Finally given in to temptation and reserved Sephiroth at

thewake_rp

5000 words to go for NaNoWriMo and now I have an app to work on. What a good thing it is that I have no life. -_-;

XD

I have 43, 670 words to my NaNo novel so far. That is 6330 words left to write over today and the three days after. But I think I should be aiming to finish way before then because I have no idea if I will be able to get online on the 30th. >.> Damn boyfriend and his unpredicatableness. He says I can use his computer as much as I want and then I can't because it needs a rest because he's left it on for three days straight or something.

Anyway.

The fight I predicted between me and my boyfriend happened last night. I screwed up dinner because I'm an awful cook and he had to fix it. He knows I'm not very good in the kitchen but he never wants to cook anymore so I have to attempt it without any recipe books or anything because there are none and I mess it up somehow. He doesn't help me either, saying I'll never learn if he keeps helping me and that I should know what I'm doing by now after five years of watching him - except that in the last five years, my roles has been to chop the veg and do the washing up as we go - and that requires my back to be to him so I can't actually watch what he's doing once I get started. So yeah, I've not learned a lot and I mess up a lot when I'm in the kitchen alone (and have I mentioned how I hate being in the kitchen alone?). I ended up in tears last night but he's always been quick to cheer me up when I'm that upset. It can take a lot to make me cry sometimes and this has been building up all week. Really, I just want to go home and spend some quality time alone with only my cats for company but it looks like I'm going to be here for another week.

I have to go to the jobcentre later though. I really really do not want to go. I must though, if I want any money.

I just... feel so useless right now. I want pretty much the whole world to leave me alone. I can think of four people I would not mind bothering me at the moment out of everyone I know and thre of them are in different countries.

I wish I could put some music on or soemthing but I might not hear the doorbell if I do... The silence is just making me feel worse. I would put the TV on quietly maybe. There's nothing on worth watching but the background noise would be welcome if it wasn't all Christmas adverts. Have I mentioned I hate Christmas yet this year? Not the day itself because I don't mind spending time with my family but everything leading up to it. I just hate the whole season. I seriously can't wait for January and everything will be over. I'm not much looking forward to New Years Eve either. Staying up late to see in the New Year has lost it's novelty and I'm actually more likely to go to be early than stay up and get drunk except this year, I am off to a birthday party that night. It might not be too bad - if I actually enjoyed parties but I don't. I don't have much of a choice though. I've been to more parties in the last five years than I've been to in the rest of my life, all because my boyfriend's family are insanely social.

...This has turned out longer than I intended. I think I'd better get back to working on NaNoWriMo now.

My boyfriend turned his computer off earlier. It's been on a while so it kinda needs the rest. He leaves it on overnight for his downloads. -_-

He's gone out now, leaving me to supposedly wait for packages but his parents are still in. His mother broke the toilet or something - apparently something in it has been held in place with sticky tape for like 30/40 years... :/ But now they're fixing it and she's doing housework but the phone keeps ringing and there's no one there.

And I can hear it all even though I've never left this room because everyone here is so goddamn loud except when they want my boyfriend's attention. Then they get all pissy because he's apparently ignoring them. :/ This family has more issues than they will ever acknowledge.

People on the NaNo site are beginning to finish. I'm feeling unmotivated because I still have 9k to go (in like...5 days now? I can manage that, sure) but there are bits I've not decided on and I really want to talk to Ross about i all. It's his story. He even had a front cover drawn for me, which I plan to ask permission to butcher in ~~the name of censorship~~ order to add the title and stuff to in appropriate places because anatomically correct anthropomorphic animals freak me out kinda o.o

But I should really get started on the next chapter or the previous one or something.. I think the scene I wrote yesterday is going to be part of chapter 13 so I still need to work on chapters 10 through to 12 first. I just read the Week 4 Pep Talk too so now I feel a bit better.

Don't ask how the novel is going. I have no idea. ..> Not until tomorrow...

At my boyfriend's, unplanned and unexpected and definitely not what I really wanted but he is impatient and needs someone to wait for the stuff he's just ordered. It probably won't come until the middle of next week but as soon as it does, I am out of her. We're driving each other insane already. And I just checked the payment messages... apparently one of the thngs he ordered is going to my house. Where nobody will be in. Yeah, he's not gonna be hapy when I tell him.

I've been in complete despair over my novel this last weekend actually. The rest of the plotline is falling apart due to the cavernous plotholes in the first half. I was so close to tears onSunday, stressing over it. It was like I lost all passion for it. I started and stopped and started and was perfectly miserable. All because of one scene I wrote that sounded good in my head but doesn't make sense unless I draw out some huge subplot when all I want is to finish the novel, not make it LotR-long.

And then right when I'm at my lowest, my boyfriend gives me a hug, tells me he knows I can do it and if I don't like the scene, then just rewrite it anyway. :) He made me feel so much better.

I've not yet rewritten the scene though. I've started fragmenting instead - writing out the scenes I want to write. I'll piece it together later but it does mean I don't have anything past chapter 9 to post. *will be posting chapters tomorrow*

But during my low moments...I have actually begun reading Twilight.

It is a lot funnier than I anticipated. XD I completely hate Bella and Edward and find the whole thing pretty ridiculous but it has also made me want to write my own vampire story. But better than Twilight. And maybe there will be werewolves but there will be other things too. I'm thinking something really nasty with fangs and claws and nothing that could possibly make a love quadrangle or whatever the fuck will happen. XD

Anyway, I have been promised to be allowed AIM on this computer so I should be able to talk to people tomorrow.

Because Sabby must get this out of her system somehow and screaming at the computer is not the best way to greet her mother when she gets home from work...

( In which Sabby goes mad. And not the good kind. )

Whoo~ I got some comments back on my fic~ Actual useful comments too. I'm totally psyched about that! My friend put up an advertisement on his account, pointing people in my direction so when I got up this morning, I had comments waiting for me. Now I have more stuff to improve on in December~

I am also just barely ahead of my word count schedule and so I need at least 1000 words today, preferably more in order to keep my lead and even increase it. Sooner I hit 50k, sooner I app at the Wake. If I manage to beat 40k by Sunday, I'll put the reserve in on Monday. <3 Promise~

Ah... what else..?

Oh. I'm actually shocking myself with my current chapter. I know I wanted something gory but this... This is actually disturbing me... I'll probably delete the scene in December but I have to continue with it for now. I need it to be over.

Oh. Also. I have a new form of procrastination~ Mystery Google. You get what the person before you searched for. I could spend hours here going 'wtf?!' over things but I...will try not to? XD

Another mostly sleepless night last night. God. What is wrong with me?

I had another bizarre dream too but I can't remember what it was. I think there was a tentacle monster involved...

Wait. i got it. There was an alien tentacle monster thing in a spaceship hovering above Earth trying to wipe out human lust.

o.o

What.

Hello, brain, what the fuck kinda drugs you been taking and why wasn't I in on it?

But I spent the first half the night after I logged off unable to sleep so I put a game on. Limited only to PS1 games, I had two digimon games, Final Fantasy 8 and Koudelka to choose from. I should have gone for Koudelka. -_- I put FF8 on first only to have it crash the moment I left Balamb Garden and got into a battle. Maybe I'll try again later.

But I want to play Jak games later...

And I already started a FF2 game last week I should continue.

Not to mention the work I should be doing for my NaNo novel...

Should be doing that now actually. I need to write a rather gruesome death scene for chapter 9 and then fit another couple deaths into chapter 10. Can't let myself fall behind on my word count. I need at least another 1000 words to keep myself happy today. Should start now actually...

Letting myself fall back into RP yesterday was fun but now all I want to do is continue that plot. But I have to make it wait until December before I get Sephy involved again. He can stay in the basement, plotting things while the others play on without me and him. XD

Anyway. NaNo calls me and I really must kill these characters. <3

Seeeeeeph! Stop iiiiiiiiiiit!

I can't concentrate on my NaNo with this going on!

XD So, basically I decided to take a break from NaNoing for a while to RP and now I can't stop.

It's crazy. I'm loving it. I've got barely 500 words written all day but I'm loving it. XD

Posted up a couple chapters of my novel on FA but I still need to put them up on my writing journal. >.> I wouldn't take too much time but... Well. It means switching accounts. And I really do have to get on with typing... I'm in the middle of an awesome scene but I'm flailing over whether my character is...well... in character. Which is idiotic because he's the one in my head telling me how it's all going to go.

In RL news~ I've not been sleeping so well. I had a bizarre dream the other night about a pacifist dictatorship, vampires and a ventriloquist who kept making his shoes talk in order to tell me they were designer shoes from Italy. And I think I spent a lot of time looking our of a window. Or at a huge TV screen.

Um. I really should get on with my novel now...

I hit my mental wall yesterday. It happens when I write long stories. I get so far through and I think I can see the end but...I can't get there. It's like those dreams where you have to run towards something but you're not moving at all, no matter how far you run. I'm in a race and I can see the end but I'm not getting any closer because someone stuck a treadmill in the middle of the road and I'm stuck on it.

This was in no way helped by the episode of Doctor Who that was shown. I thought it was quite good... Up until the point Ten decided that he would try to change time What the fuck was that all about? Yeah, I didn't want everyone on Mars to die but for crying out loud, THE DOCTOR KNOWS NOT TO MEDDLE. Thankyou, RTD, for ruining yet another of my favourite shows. Actually, my only favourite show. Fuck. First Torchwood and now this...

*sigh*

Still...

Today is...better. For writing, at least. I broke 30, 000 words earlier. Things flow a bit better now I've had a night of almost no sleep. -_-; I'll be home later and I'll be posting and playing around with my chapters tonight. See, this silly little notebook thing I'm using cannot handle documents that are too long and I've tried to split it up into chunks that I hoped were good enough for actual chapters. But then I realised, when adding up the wordcount, that some chapters were too short and will have to be merged with others. So while I may have documents that list chapters up to number 12, I really only have about 8 or 9. Hopefully, I won't get too far behind on my wordcount while I'm home but honestly, I could probably reach next Friday's target today, which gives me a few days to relax. XD

So... Strychnine is a fascinating poison. Pain, convulsions, death and it takes 2-3 hours. And I discovered all this after I decided that the character dying experiences pain and convulsions and takes a while to die. Awesome coincidence. But now I have to insert that it is strychnine into the scene... Easier said than done.

But I've done more than 25, 000 words now. I'm half way to my target! And about half way through the story too. Maybe. If I don't get ambushed by any more subplots.

My bad guy's ending might not happen in this book though.. I know there were supposed to be more stories according to my friend. He said that he was only asking me to write book one. Not sure if he knows what comes next but... Ah, whatever. I'd best not worry about it.

I'll be home again on Monday. Hopefully, I shall be a lot further ahead by then and can relax a little but still, I should not risk falling behind. I will be online but probably slow to respond. I'm really really getting into this story now and it is technically not even really mine...

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NaNoWriMo '09 Winner

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DEAR CHARACTER LETTERS VOLUME TWO

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Doctor Who spoilers within

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August 2012

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